My oldest son Ludvig, he’ll be 10 in May, he’s this amazing brilliant boy with a good sense of humor, a lot of great ideas and mostly he has this large very sympathetic heart. He cracks jokes like no one else, has this bubbly laugh that makes you laugh just because it sounds so joyous. He thinks outside of the box and see the world in colors the rest of us don’t even know they exist. No one cries more for or harder for those who are unfairly treated.
His second year of school, from august 2014 to august 2015 he had the worst year of his life, school that wasn’t that great to begin with became a living hell. Not a day went by where he wasn’t bullied, beaten, was called names or he even got threatened to be killed. My boy 9 years old not only had to fight for his right to get the help our school laws say he has the right to since he has ADHD and ASD. He had to fight bullies every day.
No need to say that even though I spent more time in school than any other place, even though I reported the school to the board of education our society stands paralyzed when things like this happens. At one time my son said there’s no point in staying alive no one wants a bad boy like me anyway. Do anyone know the distress and complete hopelessness a child mere 9 years old have to feel to say something like that. We can’t. Ludvig wished to die because living was to exhausting.
Spite this Ludvig one day in the midst of this said about his worst bully to my mother one day when she was picking him up from school: Grandma he’s so alone, no one likes him because he’s so mean. But grandma no one should be alone so even though he’s not very nice I’ll still be his friend.
That’s my son. He goes out to this warped up world where he’s considered to be the freak and the one who is disabled, the one who turned out not quite right, the one who needs to learn the ropes. He the one who has less rights and the black sheep. That is why today when some woman at the indoor playground we went to not only reprimanded him without knowing him and disrespected him for playing with her child 4 years old and he’s 9 and it got to rough. Boys play they wrestle, but this time they were jumping on trampolines and they all lost their balance. Then this mother expects me to yell at him and treat him like utter dirt because this is how children are taught. Well fuck you lady I don’t yell at my children! Ever and if I happen to do so I apologize always because that is not how you speak to anyone child or adult.
Yes, Ludvig has limitations, he doesn’t understand social interaction the way you and I do, he doesn’t understand sarcasm, irony, hidden meanings, he doesn’t look at the world like you and I do but he’s not stupid. What he needs is understanding. He does know the world see him as different and that many people don’t see it as a good thing but look down on him because of it. Which makes him feel shame. I had to watch my son look shameful for being him because this woman expected him to be like everyone else. She wasn’t even open for dialog so eventually I just told her to not speak to my children because her opinion didn’t matter one bit. I will always stand up for my children even if they may have been in the wrong too and talk to them about that afterwards, I will never hang them out for the vultures. NEVER!
My son who will care for humans and animals alike who can’t watch a commercial where the dog is left out in the rain without starting to cry, who hates the ice age movies because they are
to sad. My boy who went to school every day even though school was hell and fought with every ounce of energy (and still do because even though things are better they are not good) to get through his day he is still the broken one, the one who needs to adapt and change. The malfunctioned boy who has no manners.
I won’t stand for it! In my world he is the type of person I wish I could be intelligent, kindhearted, empathetic and strong willed. If more people were like him the world would be a better place.
Dreamer, Writer, Reader and Metal Head.