​It’s funny this thing that reviewing books is, at least for me. The more a book affects me the harder I find it to review. If Grif’s Toy was difficult to review because there were things in that book that just had me going through every human emotion possible then reviewing Wes’ Denial is bordering impossible to review. This review has taken me close two months to master.
 
Those of you who read my review on Grif’s Toy and who happened to catch some of my comments on Facebook while reading it knows very well my reaction to that book. In all honestly when picking up Wes’ Denial I was in doubt how the hell Joseph Lance Tonlet was going to pull this off, first, because Grif’s Toy was not only a really great book pure fiction wise but the message in that book was so loud and clear. Grif’s voice was strong and there were no doubts left at the end of the book about who Grif was or who was truly in charge in that relationship and (pardon my French) it sure as fuck wasn’t Wes. I was afraid that I was going to read a doublet of Grif’s Toy but from Wes perspective together with having Tonlet tying up a few lose ends like the big significance of Wes tattoo and who Henrik was. Even if my worry was slight, there had been no need for it slight or other. Wes Denial is just as good and I would say even better than Grif’s Toy for no other reason than the end.
 
Books like this touch me, because not only have the author, Joseph Lance Tonlet, managed to convey a magnificently emotional story but like I’ve said before managed to convey a message, or several messages, in a subject matter that is very complicated for most of people to understand, especially those of us who don’t live in the BDSM lifestyle or anywhere near it. Yet, we all tend to have a lot to say about it. Funny how that is, isn’t it?
 
One of the issues I have when reading MM books in general, if to generalize for a bit, is that I find a lot of them to be all about sex and I’m not talking about how many acts of sex there are. There can be a book with 5 scenes with actual sex acts but not have very much to do with sex or vice versa. You following? The clichés of BDSM books with the dark clubs, whips and chains, dungeons (and I am sorry but it doesn’t matter how much white or yellow painted walls you have in these dungeons they are still play rooms set out for one thing to “play” to indulge in whatever play it is that get a certain couple off), sex and more sex, child/parent play as I call it, which is about the dominant telling the submissive what he/she needs like they don’t have a clue themselves about that because first they need to be saved, it is all the typical encounters when reading a BDSM book. It might seem a bit harsh but it’s true, and I’m not saying they are bad books just that because of this they become very one sided or people who don’t tend to question things they know little about get the wrong idea.
 
Like so many other “things” BDSM is in my opinion over sexualized, it is the desire of having great sex that is the drive to seek out the BDSM lifestyle and that fact alone gives people a somewhat skewed view of what it's really about. After reading Wes’ Denial, not reading Grif’s Toy, but reading about Wes and what experiences forms his life I can finally say there’s one more book (to a very short list of books) that desexualize and, lack of a better words, re-humanize the BDSM lifestyle and makes it out to be what it’s meant to be a way of living your life together and getting your needs/interests met in more than just your sex life because it has to do with a state of mind and emotional needs that many times have a physical way of being satisfied.
 
Wes has this confident way about him but at the same time he has secrets and things that makes him vulnerable. Through life he finds out things about himself that in many ways disturbs him and makes him feel like a freak and like I said in my review on Grif’s Toy, it isn’t until he meets Grif that he truly understands himself or rather allow himself to do so. You learn throughout the book how he finds out what he is and what that means and how he struggles to find acceptance in being him. Thomas and Henrik are two of those people that he meets and two people who seen sides of him that are both good and bad. There are things in Wes’ past (that I won’t go into that are dark and to the point of cruel) that he’s shamed by, things that forces Grif to take on a role that is not his typical role for no other reason than to help the man he loves to deal with his past. Does this remind you of anyone you know? It does, doesn’t it, because we all do it at times to help others deal with things buried in their past, we shoulder tasks or situations, accept the burden of crosses not really ours to bear for no other reason than to help the people we love. Tonlet says himself that submission are gifts given from one person to another and I agree but Tonlet taught me something else too, that no matter how many labels we put on people or on ourselves in the end we are all the same. We bleed the same, we love the same, we want and need the same thing for those we love to accept us for who we are.
 
Wes’ Denial is about everything but sex, and there’s plenty of sex scenes in this book. Wes and Grif shows us it’s about the same thing every other relationship is about, which is love and commitment, about helping your partner through the worst thing they experienced in their life so they’ll be able to move on. Wes’ Denial is not a repeat of Grif’s Toy, nor is it an easy story to read both because there are scenes in it that are very graphic both in violence but also when it comes to the D/S structure of things.
 
Mostly it’s a hard book to read because of the emotional journey, Wes journey is so completely gripping and heart twisting at times it is hard to read because of the tears you shed. What Wes’ Denial really is about is finding and forgiving yourself, it’s that easy. It is about accepting yourself for who you are, good and bad, with the good choices and bad choices you’ve made, that you are not a weak man or less dominant because you need help and that being turned on by what you are turned on by isn’t wrong if with the right partner, the yin to your yang. On the contrary, Wes’ over and over again kills the stigmas of BDSM not being abuse, it isn’t just about sex, it isn’t weak or mean but it is just about two consenting adults, loving each other as much as the next couple, doing everything they can to make each other and themselves happy and also being openly proud of the life choices they made. Wes’ Denial is really a Cinderella story about true love and fighting evil for that love. Finally, this is a book that says all the things that every BDSM conversation should start with: Once upon a time there was a submissive boy who fell in love with a dominant boy…. And then they lived happily till it was their time. There’s a quote from Wes’ that I like to share from the book that is so spot on about what is about. To as the author says he done for himself and his own life too, the important question isn’t why (and trust me I am a very why asking person), the important question is, Are you happy? Or possibly, What makes you happy?
 
“Thomas had taught me there was nothing about either—sadism or masochism—which made either of us better or superior to the other. We were what we were; I was simply Wes and he was simply Grif.” From Wes’ Denial by Joseph Lance Tonlet
 
Joseph Lance Tonlet didn’t only give us an amazing and hard story telling us about Wes but he also gave us the most magnificent ending (and don’t think I don’t see the raised eyebrows because I do). But even though as I sit there and realize what is going on, there on the last pages and wanted nothing else but to yell at the author for being so damn cruel, I can’t picture another ending for Grif and Wes, because this end is the ultimate proof of how much Wes and Grif really loved each other and how deep that love truly goes. That nothing about them or their life together was driven by anything else but respect and love that they felt for each other’s. So, Mr. Benson move over the throne now belongs to Mr. De Luca!
 

I love books, I love to read, I love the written word and I love to read in a lot of different genres. I read everything from classics of Kafka, Brontë, Austen, Shakespeare, to horror or crime such as John Grisham and Dean R. Koontz and so on and so forth to contemporary romance novels. There’s not much I don’t read, or many genres I can’t find authors to love.

However, there's one thing I’ve noticed with the LGBTQ community of authors, including myself, is that very few just write books. Books for the masses books about people who just happen to be something other the standard straight, white, christian. This thing we call sexual orientation is very important in the quest of not having it be so important. Mind you now I’m not saying this is always a bad thing, talking about matters will defuse them and eventually whatever made a hype out of one thing will be gone and commonly accepted, I’m just claiming it is how many people in MY oppinion write . Nothing wrong with it it’s just how it is.

With Debbie McGowan’s books, sex and sexual orientation is something distant, it’s not this huge statement or discussion, sex is something everyone has so it's like "knock yourself dead" and sexual orientation, it’s who you are no matter what that is so what's there to discuss. I am not saying it isn’t important factor in McGowan books but she has a way of wording things that makes them so acceptable that you just sort of nod and goes along with whatever she says. It's all the norm.

In the Wag and the Scoundrel Debbie McGowen’s characters are diverse but yet familiar that it doesn’t matter what their sexual orientation is or gender or color of their skin or political views they could all be you in one way or another. Gray, the widower, Rob the soon to be divorced, Will, the animal rights activist and ex banker gone surfer, Aaron and Naomi are so freaking brilliantly done I might actually have whooped a little; but they are all regular dudes and dudettes with very much of the same type of problems. Debbie McGowan is one of a small group of authors I'm currently reading that truly know how to make, all those things we all want to be non issues, into just that a non issue. That is a gift in itself.

When it comes to The Wag and the Scoundrel it’s a suspense and crime story, and I love those kind of stories, I prefer them when reading in a way, or rather I prefer stories that are about more boy meets boy or girl, I like stories about real life. Just like John Grisham, McGowan, focuses the drama on the actual case of “who’s done it” instead of the act of violence of seeing the crime being committed. That doesn’t just cause the story to become more of a suspense story because she as a writer can focus on more calm details in the investigation instead of the hard quick actions in the crime moment.

What I like most about this particular book are two things, one, the flow between keeping the pace of the actual case of investigating the murder going, so it doesn’t stagnate and sort of just flimsy out around in the course of getting people together as couples or sorting their personal lives out. The story is the crime committed that involves a lot of people whose life are intertwined. That is the second thing I love about this book, all the different characters that we get to follow and their personal lives as a side story to the crime investigation. It is a nice side step from the crime story, to say it lightens it up maybe a bit over exaggerated because damn these people got issues the size of a small European country, I am not jealous but we get to follow them on their personal journeys as well and I liked that a lot. I can tell you this I usually don’t spend too much time dwelling on who will end up with who, because let’s face it most romances are pretty easy to figure that one out, but since this isn’t a romance and that was pretty clear from get go I was muttering quite a lot and was ready to kick ass if Gray didn’t get his head out of his arse.

In all, Debbie McGowan write books for the masses, they are not simply LGBTQ books, well they are but I hate labels, books are books, and if I want a crime I look there and there’s where this book fits in. The Wag and the Scoundrel will have you turning that page after page till you come to the last one, because you just want to know who one done it and what the heck happens to everyone and I’ll tell you Debbie is goooood at keeping you on your toes! Finally what I have to say is move over John Grisham there’s a new crime author in town!

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Grif’s Toy by Joseph Lance Tonlet, oh boy, this will be one of the strangest, longest and most likely one of the most philosophical book reviews I’ve ever written, be prepared.

If you research about what people fear the most, one of the most common things people fear in this world is death. The reasons why can differ immensely depending on who you ask but generally they fear leaving their loved ones, which is a legit fear, I don’t doubt but I don’t have it, (I know appalling) how I don’t fear death. If I die I won’t be here, I’ll be dead nothing to fear when there’s nothing to feel. I don’t control dying, all I know is that one day my day will come and that will be it. Death is a part of life, it happens and we all know it, so why try to control something that isn’t in my power to control.

What I do fear is living, living a life that isn’t quite what I expected, and knowing that while I walk around living this “bland” life, (it really isn’t as bad as I make it sound, but I’m trying to make a point), I'm not fulfilling my dreams because we are not here to fulfill our dreams we are here to be good girls and boys and do what is expected. (And no, I didn’t have overly harsh parent, on the contrary, my parents, especially, my mother encouraged me to go out there and experience life. The cliche: If I known what I know now about myself back when I was 20 a lot of things would have been different.) Reading books such as Grif’s Toy, and even learning a thing or two about the author himself, makes those bells of unfulfilled dreams rings mighty high right about now, but also make you understand, well at least makes me get why people come to the point and say screw the world I'm going to live my life for me no matter what other people think because I need to be happy. That's what Grif's Toy is about, being happy and doing everything you can to live a rich fulfilled life. So, while the rest of us (again not everyone of course) putter around and only do what is expected of us, there are those who go after their dreams and live them.

When I started reading Grif’s Toy, I’d read the blurb, seen some reviews and I believe I had a fair idea of what I was getting myself into. Well, boy was I wrong, about halfway through, at what I call the piercing part I was ready to chuck my kindle into the wall, even though, up to that point I’d really liked the book even if there were elements in it that I couldn’t grasp and fully understand.

First of all, Joseph has created main characters such as Weston Wes De Luca, Tate Diaz, and lets not forget about Marcus Grif Griffin that are real, and as for Grif he is accomplished, smart and has great confidence about his person and know very well what he wants and needs (even if I didn’t see it at first), he’s no victim or a person with a rotten self-esteem, not at all. He’s the ultimate force and drive in this story and a positive one of those. Even secondary characters, such as  Matthew Smithton and Pavel Alexander are not just some filler roles, they are fleshed out and bring their own set of quirks, stories and facts to the book to why they are there, without them the story wouldn’t have been complete.

Secondly, Joseph is a damn good storyteller, he has a way with words that just magically pull you in and then bam the world as you know it is translated into the world he has created. I know for a fact, that I told my kids at one point to hush it because I was reading and I usually don't do that.  Also, this story is told in a way that it sort of brings you from the past into the present and that is a tricky thing to do so it turns out well. I is important that you tell enough to get the reader to keep going and also understand what happens, when and with who, so when the end comes it makes sense. There was no issues with that here, Joseph rounded it off at then end really well and there weren't any loose ends left dangling, and the the light-bulb went on and I was home so to speak. 

So, there I was ready to chuck my kindle in the wall and it took me forever to get through that chapter because I could only read a couple pages and then I had to let it rest for a bit and then go back to it. I didn’t understand, and I always have to understand where a person come from, it is a driving need in me, to understand why and to understand where people come from. It has nothing to do with me, that I have to want or need the same things, it has to do with understanding others and knowing that ultimately they are happy, ok, getting what they need, no matter what that is, maybe that I’m not turning my back to someone who needs my help, whatever. And usually, mind you now when I read BDSM books even if they are good books they always leave one thing unclear, or where I go “OK, I see what you are saying and I’m sure he/she’s happy but…” there’s always a but, a but containing that the submissive is portrayed as the person who has to be convinced by the more dominant part of what they need, like a child that needs a parent to explain why they need to brush their teeth. There’s always that aspect of hint of “parent, child” behavior (for the lack of a better comparison) and that drives me absolutely bonkers. I don't claim to be an expert on anything, especially not BDSM, but you don't convince someone to "do" BDSM you agree to do it together because you both want to and then discuss the do's and don't's.

This isn’t the case with Grif’s Toy, yes, I will admit you do have to read the whole story, from first word to last word to get the full feel of this, to understand it all and see this, but Grif is in no way shape or form not in control, or unsure of what he wants, needs or elsewhere confused. As a young man, he’s like any other young person, not fully fleshed out and 100 % secured in himself, but who is at that point, but as the book grows so does Grif and he’s kick ass. No doubt about it and here is the icing on the cake, Wes, he is not perfect! I’ve only read books by one other author that manages to do this, Wes, who’s the dominant part (if that is really how you can describe him because Joseph Lance Tonlet all through the book have Wes/Grif and Tate/Grif as equals and never strays from it) has insecurities of his own and this is also shown in a very soft and gentle way. I would even go so far to say that Weston doesn’t find his full confidence until he meets Grif, meeting Grif is what makes Wes blossom and fully believe he’s not “the freak” (to use Grif words) he think he is but that there’s a yin to his yang out there and more importantly,  Grif is his yin.

Grif’s Toy, has given me a lot to reflection on, and that the best part about reading certain types of stories, even if I agree with the author that fiction is to be read as fiction, I still think a good book of fiction has so much truth in it that a good fiction book can help change lives. Grif’s Toy is such a story, it's about self discovery, about accepting yourself for who you are and in that acceptance maybe even learn to love yourself because of those “flaws”. That no matter what we all have our faults, our limits, but more so what may first come off as the most horrendous, unfair and dreadful thing in the world might be the one thing that later on takes you on the most valuable journey you could ever have taken, and without that one “flaw” you would have missed out on the one thing that helped changed your life, for the better.


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Dragon’s Bounty is the first book of a new historical and fantasy series called Dracula’s Love by S. Joy P.

Since I finished this book, actually since I started this book and actually had to close the book up to see if I had the right one, I have pondered what the hell my feelings are towards it and let me tell you right here and now, it is a hate love relationship.

This is not a book you grab as you walk out the door for a day on the beach. It will take your full attention, both in a good and bad way because it is quite difficult to get into but when you have it is like a dark sky that explodes into a blue ocean with the sun standing high.

It is a book with so much colorful description that there comes a point when I had to stop reading and start turning pages to see "hello when do I get some people on people interaction because I'm going nuts here". It is a book that when you finished it no matter if you like it or not you just know you will read, however, many other books this series will hold, each and everyone of them because you will have to know what more battles will Vlad and his men Iancon, Marin, Lion and let’s not forget the God of Love who has descended to earth to be close to the mortal man he loves like Romeo loved Juliet, Love the Englishman.

Why don’t we start with Love since the book starts with him, and honestly the man drove me absolutely bonkers, especially, in the beginning with his obsessiveness over this Vlad man that we had no freaking idea who or what he was. But Love is the reason the first 30% of the book is worth reading without him and talking to his companion Motudd. He is a man with devotion, loyalty, and passion in spades. He is a man to look up too because he doesn’t change his mind as things becomes difficult to avoid the hardships, and this is something even Vlad Dracula, the Warrior Prince, realizes is a value any leader can ask for. Love, as I said, drove me bonkers in the beginning, at that point being nothing but a slave working the mines and fields for Vlad. He was for the lack of a better word acting like a love sick puppy, a poor, dirty, lice "walked away" with his hair filthy and starving puppy, and still all he could do was to pine after Vlad Dracula.

After the magic 30% point, where the massive discription somehow ended, the more I read the better Dragon’s Bounty became. S. Joy has not only created a world but characters, that mind you now are all pretty vicious and plain evil (including dearest Love and the things he does throughout the book in the name of love is all of it far from fair) but that you will like spite their cruelty. One one page you will cringe, wrinkle your nose and go eww only to on the next page after the bloody battles are done and the same men sit around a fire or table eating showing their comradery for each other, you will go awe ain’t that nice, and smile feeling relieved that there’s some humanity left in these men after all.

The relationship between Vlad and Love, is slow burning, and with slow burning I mean slow like imagine the slowest burning love story you ever read and then quadruple it by ten and you have the slow burning passion and friendship between these two very different yet, similar men. It needs to be slow burning, if S. Joy had made it happen in any other way than she has then Love’s obsession would have become a stalkerish insane kind, that would have needed the men with white lab coats to come get him. Instead Love’s passionate and deep burning love for the dark Warrior Prince becomes this grand epic story of unconditional love that makes you want to be Love and how it changes or rather shows a different side of Vlad or as he’s also called Dragwlya.

The side characters to this story mostly other men and warriors of Prince Vlad’s army and closes guard, Iancon, Marin, Lion and later on Adam are spot on, I love these men all for being their own set of men with their own voice and yet they behave accordingly to the rules that S. Joy has set up for them. They enhance the story and strong emotional bond that all these men share with each other, and gives you behind the battle scene moments that makes you feel compassion for them. The one scene that sticks in my mind the one scene that is the most prominent of the story with so much heart that it not only made me cry but made me want to scream just like Love did was the end scene with Adam. It broke me in a way that I wasn’t prepared for.

In conclusion, I would have loved to have given this story a five-star review, I really would but I can’t because the very long, and overly descriptiveness at some parts killed made it hard for me to focus, there were too many times when I caught myself thinking about other things and where I had no idea what I read for the past couple pages so I had to go back and re-read. But it is well worth the read because the story that is told between is a wonderful story of the power of camaraderie, loyalty, and love, in the interaction between a handful of well thought out characters that you learn to mostly love!

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Enrapture by Pierce Smith is an erotic novella taking place at Halloween night.

The book starts out with a very upset Noah, who is horny and frustrated that his boyfriend, Ethan, who he happened to have met exactly one year ago that very night, is running late for their date. Being hyper, horny and quite bored to be honest he tries to occupy himself with flirting with the guy running the shop from across the street and after some time Ethan finally calls and things are on between the two boyfriends and the guy across the street.

I don’t want to ruin the story by telling too much but the plot of the book is fairly straight forward, it consists of what erotic novels consist of mostly, namely sex in different aspects pleasing yourself while others are watching, listening or why not doing all of it in front of large windows where everyone and anyone can see. Enrapture, is if you like real erotic books, is full of lust filled sex, but also a good portion of humor.

Noah and Ethan are both likable characters, even if what we really know about them as people isn’t that much. And because of that I find them both to be slightly immature at times. It would have help the depth of the story and the understanding of the characters if we had gotten to know them some on a more personal level, this is the problem I have often with short stories or in this case novellas. Then there is the fact that Noah giggles a lot, it drove me a tad bit bonkers because you all know how much I like adults giggling, but I ignored that fact because well let's face it some people giggle and I just need to get over it, and kept reading.  

Pierce Smith, writes really well, the dialog is engaging, it feels genuine and as if it is a true conversation that could take place. Noah’s and Ethan’s chemistry it real and hot and at the same time sweet. Spite the third party, it is obvious that they are more to each other than just a fuck buddies and that they care deeply for each other even though the language and tone at times would seem to convey the very opposite. But instead it makes it sort of playful between them. To this point I’d say Enrapture was pretty much like many other erotic novels and even though well written, from my point of view, there wasn’t really anything that made it stand out buuuut...then came the ending.

So, what makes this story different and not just another erotic novel with two or more people screwing each other’s brains out, the ending. The ending chapter is brilliant and shocking! It makes you go “what the hell!” and go back several pages just to read it again so you can make sure that you read it right and didn’t miss something. What would have made this story top notch is if that "it" factor had been displayed way earlier and built up. Then it would have been killer! I give it a 4 star rating.
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When Skies Have Fallen by Debbie McGowan was my first book by this author and it won’t be my last one that is for sure. When picking up this book I was very curious about, one because it been so highly recommended but also because I met Debbie before reading any of her books and because I had done so it is always fun to see if you can find some of the persons essences in their writing. 

When Skies Have Fallen takes place during end of the WWII, where men were men and women were women, or at least where a small part of society decided what a man and a woman were, a world where being gay was considered to be a crime and you could actually be put in jail for taking part in so-called homosexual acts. 

I’ve been sitting here for hours trying to find the right words to describe this book because to make it fair it is not a love story, it is not without it but the moral of the story isn’t will there be love, the moral of the story is how far will you go to be free to love your partner so the world knows. To not live a life in fear and all that, how long will you go to make sure someone else will have those rights too and will you give up trying if fighting for that right will kill you?

This story made me think of something I often ponder in regards to romance stories, as they are so aptly called, we make fun of it about being romance authors, some even feel shame in saying they write romance(ish) stories as if saying so is admitting to picking your nose or worse. To me, it is so funny that we put so much shame into something that is something that we all (including me even if I am about as romantic as a dirty gym sock) is to be loved. OK, it doesn’t mean having to be IN love but to be loved and accepted for who we are, no matter who that is (unless it is the chainsaw slayer, Luca’s dad or someone equally horrible). But the idea of love is somehow what keeps us all going and moving forward. 

This book is full of love, in love, deep friendship love, sibling love, love for thy country, love for thy neighbor and so on and so forth. This story is the beacon of love and hope, that we all live in a world that we all have the possibility to help change to the better for ourselves as well as thy neighbor. That there are people out there willing to fight battles that might not be their own but are willing to bend over backwards and then some because in doing so they help someone else be free, free to love the person that is the world to them in When Skies Have Fallen this is Jean and Charlie, better and truer friends than them you have to look for and they are someone how just as important for this story as the two lead men, Jim, and Arty, if that is what you want to call them. Because even though the battle of the story is theirs there wouldn’t have been the strength and hope or even possible for them to go through what they did and come out as well as they did on the other end without their friends fighting right there, side by side with them.

So, if you want to read a story out there that is a hope bringer and a wake-up call giving you a glimpse on how far we come, but how we do not want to become again and therefore have to keep fighting all these battles of hate no matter what they are for, then you have to read When Skies Have Fallen. Thank you Debbie for this amazing story of love and hope! 

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