My oldest son Ludvig, he’ll be 10 in May, he’s this amazing brilliant boy with a good sense of humor, a lot of great ideas and mostly he has this large very sympathetic heart. He cracks jokes like no one else, has this bubbly laugh that makes you laugh just because it sounds so joyous. He thinks outside of the box and see the world in colors the rest of us don’t even know they exist. No one cries more for or harder for those who are unfairly treated.
His second year of school, from august 2014 to august 2015 he had the worst year of his life, school that wasn’t that great to begin with became a living hell. Not a day went by where he wasn’t bullied, beaten, was called names or he even got threatened to be killed. My boy 9 years old not only had to fight for his right to get the help our school laws say he has the right to since he has ADHD and ASD. He had to fight bullies every day.
No need to say that even though I spent more time in school than any other place, even though I reported the school to the board of education our society stands paralyzed when things like this happens. At one time my son said there’s no point in staying alive no one wants a bad boy like me anyway. Do anyone know the distress and complete hopelessness a child mere 9 years old have to feel to say something like that. We can’t. Ludvig wished to die because living was to exhausting.
Spite this Ludvig one day in the midst of this said about his worst bully to my mother one day when she was picking him up from school: Grandma he’s so alone, no one likes him because he’s so mean. But grandma no one should be alone so even though he’s not very nice I’ll still be his friend.
That’s my son. He goes out to this warped up world where he’s considered to be the freak and the one who is disabled, the one who turned out not quite right, the one who needs to learn the ropes. He the one who has less rights and the black sheep. That is why today when some woman at the indoor playground we went to not only reprimanded him without knowing him and disrespected him for playing with her child 4 years old and he’s 9 and it got to rough. Boys play they wrestle, but this time they were jumping on trampolines and they all lost their balance. Then this mother expects me to yell at him and treat him like utter dirt because this is how children are taught. Well fuck you lady I don’t yell at my children! Ever and if I happen to do so I apologize always because that is not how you speak to anyone child or adult.
Yes, Ludvig has limitations, he doesn’t understand social interaction the way you and I do, he doesn’t understand sarcasm, irony, hidden meanings, he doesn’t look at the world like you and I do but he’s not stupid. What he needs is understanding. He does know the world see him as different and that many people don’t see it as a good thing but look down on him because of it. Which makes him feel shame. I had to watch my son look shameful for being him because this woman expected him to be like everyone else. She wasn’t even open for dialog so eventually I just told her to not speak to my children because her opinion didn’t matter one bit. I will always stand up for my children even if they may have been in the wrong too and talk to them about that afterwards, I will never hang them out for the vultures. NEVER!
My son who will care for humans and animals alike who can’t watch a commercial where the dog is left out in the rain without starting to cry, who hates the ice age movies because they are
to sad. My boy who went to school every day even though school was hell and fought with every ounce of energy (and still do because even though things are better they are not good) to get through his day he is still the broken one, the one who needs to adapt and change. The malfunctioned boy who has no manners.
I won’t stand for it! In my world he is the type of person I wish I could be intelligent, kindhearted, empathetic and strong willed. If more people were like him the world would be a better place.
#5StarReview 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 #HavensRevenge #ReaderReview
An amazing read!
Very original story, nothing like I've ever read or heard of. Emotional roller coaster, in all the best ways. Wanting to be able to actually slam a book shut out of frustration, then finding myself laughing Shock and on the edge of my seat before ending up in tears for varying reasons. I'm already chomping at the bit for more!!
His wolf was driving him crazy, pacing inside him, howling for its mate, wanting to have him near. Alexander wondered how much Haven had changed in the four years they’d been separated. Was his hair still long strands of silk for him to run his fingers through? Did he still wear those well fitted jeans that made him look like any gay man’s wet dream? And was he still the mouthy, grumpy, lovable asshole he’d always been? Most people found Haven disturbing or rude. He didn’t. His lover to be was how he was. The attitude was a shield to protect himself. A great challenge Alexander couldn’t wait to get on top of. He’d tame his lover, and teach Haven to submit to him—his wolf.
But mostly he was interested in seeing Haven's reaction to his change. When he left for college, he’d still been that tall, skinny kid. His ma said he was a late bloomer. Being eighteen and still looking like he was fifteen was worse than anything else he could have thought of. Especially when you were trying to impress your future mate with your size.
He’d spent the past four years bulking and toning up. He’d never be like Reid, he’d always be a slimmer build but he felt better now. The biggest change, though, was his attitude and personality. In his eyes he was the same Alexander he’d always been but he was more confident and secure in himself, both as a person, and in what he wanted. He was becoming a leader.
"Hey, dude, you still in there?" Alden gave him a hard slap on the chest to get his attention.
“Oops. I spaced out, sorry."
"He should be back any minute. He and Andreas have been out at the east pasture to look over the fence. They said they’d be back in an hour or so and that should be pretty soon."
No sooner had he said it, when the clatter of horse’s hooves came into the yard. Alexander spun around on his heels, moving to the stable doors. When he saw Haven's tall frame up on that brown, mottled horse of his, the world around him stopped, and all he saw was his Haven. His heart picked up the pace and beat heavily in his chest, and his palms were sweaty. God, he was even more gorgeous than he’d remembered and up on that horse, he looked almost wild. His mouth was set in its normal thin, stern line, but he was stunning. He could feel his nostrils flair as the scent of him carried through the breeze. His wolf sniffed the air too, pushing his chest out, trying to make himself look bigger and more attractive to his mate.
He was even hotter than Alexander had remembered. How could he not have remembered this? The picture he carried with him hadn’t done his Haven justice but then again, it was a few years old. Time had been good to his man. His hair was longer from the look of things. It had to be almost down to his ass but still looked silky smooth.
Alexander smiled to himself as he walked farther out onto the yard, his eyes glued to Haven. Up on that horse, he looked almost regal with his brown hair moving in the light breeze. Alexander was so struck, he couldn't take his eyes off him even if he’d wanted to, and he didn't. He must look like a fool, standing there drinking him in like a parched man, and Haven was his oasis. But he didn’t care who saw his thirst. Haven was his and his alone. They’d better get used to it because he wasn’t going to hide his love or desire.
Alexander watched as Haven jumped off Bullet, landing with ease on the ground. Bullet was a young horse Haven trained himself; they’d given him to Haven for his twenty-first birthday, five years earlier.
"You’re starting to turn blue in the face, kid, maybe breathing would be a good idea."
Alexander jerked his head around to look at Alden who’d come up to stand next to him, his face serious.
"You know, you can do a lot better than him. He doesn't deserve someone as good as you."
"What?" He had to bite his tongue not to growl at Alden but his eyes narrowed, and that was enough to get the message across.
"You heard me, kid. You don't have to get all defensive. The choice is obviously yours. But someone needs to tell you like it is." He gave Alexander a last look before turning on his heel and walking back into the barn. Alexander let him go, deciding to deal with Alden later. Right now, Haven was more important.
Haven had been deep in thought when he heard the familiar voice, the surprised look on his face was probably proof of that. The instant awakening of his dick in his pants was a second giveaway. Rolling his shoulders, he felt instantly annoyed at his body’s betrayal, just from hearing his voice. He didn’t have time for this.
The fence along the east pasture was worse than they’d initially thought. They’d only managed to fix half of it and had to come back for more supplies. The way the wire had looked cut in places was odd. Some posts hadn't been that bad—they shouldn’t have given in as they had. He was almost sure some of the poles had been switched. They didn't look like the others at all. He hadn't mentioned his suspicion to Andreas because he didn't want to alarm the man in case he was wrong. Instead he wanted to take it to Coleman before lunch and have him ride out with him before the others were even done.
Someone had purposely tried to cut the fence to make it look like it had broken. He had a feeling he was right. It all looked suspiciously like foul play. He wasn’t here to play footsie with the boss’s son. But having no choice, he took a deep breath before turning around.
"Alexander." He felt proud of how calm and sure he sounded, even though Alexander was right in his face. No emotions in his voice. He cleared his throat, forcing himself to give him a half smile. "Good to see you, buddy." He patted him on the shoulder once, before gripping Bullets reins and led him toward the pen next to the stables.
He closed his eyes, groaning inside. Good to see you buddy! Jesus Christ, Haven, that's the best you could do? But what did it matter, he wasn’t here to impress Alexander. If he thought he was a boring prick, all the better for him.
He made a quick job of removing the reins and saddle, then hanging them over the pen fence. There were no point in putting it away when he was going back out there. He could feel Alexander’s eyes boring into his back but he ignored it, and him, refusing to turn around.
He jerked as he heard Alexander's voice next to him. Why the hell didn't he hear him move? His shoulders tensed involuntarily but he didn't turn to look at him. This was ridiculous; he was the boss’s kid, nothing more, nothing less. Never had been, never would be. That was what he’d been trying to convince himself of and wasn’t changing his mind. He let out a snorting huff, a stiff evil smirk formed on his lips as Alexander said his name again.
"Haven. Don't ignore me." Alexander was forced back a couple of steps when Haven turned to look at him.
The look he gave Alexander was intended to hard and cold, even more so than normal. His smile on his lips wasn't warm or inviting. "It was a couple of kisses a hundred years ago. It meant nothing and it will never be more than that. Unless you want a good fuck up against the barn wall? I need a good release after the week I’ve had." He could see the hurt his words caused Alexander but that was the point. Please! Just leave. Forget about me! He begged inside his mind.
As Alexander turned and walked away, he convinced himself that was exactly what he wanted. He grabbed some water and hay for Bullet. On his way out from the pen, he met Alden in the doorway.
"You’re a fucking asshole, Haven," he hissed as he walked by, slamming into his shoulder, forcing Haven to take a few steps forward to keep his balance.
Haven didn't bother saying anything. Instead he rolled his shoulders as well as his eyes and stalked up the yard toward the main house, muttering to himself, "Like that was fucking news."
He knew his words had hurt Alexander but he’d thank him later when he realized what a loser he really was. That he couldn't...wouldn't love anyone, ever again.
It's only 5 days left until the release of Finding Home. Kai's and Luca's story has been long time coming, It is the first attempt to a book I ever sat down and tried to write.
It's what the "English language" call a coming of age story, a line of words I don't really understand. I know what they mean but they don't make any sense at all to me. But this is what the story is.
What I loved most with writing this story was that it is centered in my home town, Gothenburg. It was a lot of fun to know ever crook and corner when I pictured Kai and Luca doing town. Gothenburg is located on the west coast of Sweden and is this large city with small city charm, also called Little London.
It is what you would call a walking city, the best way of enjoying it to it's fullness is to just walk and then walk some more. Even when you're in the heart of the city you will find it to be like no other big city because it feels small, intimate and cosy with cafés and pubs all over the city. There are a larger shopping mall but mostly you have the indivudual shops along the streets.
So, in five days, two days after Lucia a national holiday where we celebrate the dark haired girl with lights in her hair Finding Home will be available for you on Amazon and All Romance.
Excerpt from Finding Home:
“You having fun?” Kai’s voice spoke low in his ear. It was heavy and graveled like he’d just woken up, making Luca frown, turning his head to look at him. What he saw in Kai’s eyes couldn’t be mistaken for anything else but lust. Not even by a novice like him. Luca pulled in a deep shuddering breath, unable to let go of the hot stare.
Unable to speak he nodded. Kai smiled, as if he could see the affect he had on Luca and loved every moment of it.
“What has you thinking so hard, darlin’?”
Oh, my God, did he just call me darlin’. Luca bit his lip to stifle a groan. Fuck him. He swallowed hard, eyeing Kai as he fantasized about him in his cowboy hat, boots, and the same tight jeans he was wearing now. Shit! He was getting excited. He had to stop. He felt the hot prickle as a blush crept up his neck and spread onto his face.
“Oh, now I really want to know what you’re thinking.” Kai let go of his hand, slipping his arm around his waist and pulling him closer, guiding him to a bench in a small cove of the castle wall overlooking the ocean.
The pressure of Kai’s hand on his hip wasn’t harsh but the affect it had on him was like he’d been gripping him hard, hard enough to leave a mark. Luca squirmed, a soft whimper slipping from his mouth. His prick was pushing hard against the zipper of his jeans, the intensity of the moment. The vivid images of Kai all geared up in his mind, together with his emotions running haywire, and he might just come from listening to Kai speak.
“Oh, God,” he whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut, sitting down abruptly on the bench. He reached down, grabbing himself through his jeans, squeezing hard, trying to stave off his impending orgasm. What the hell was wrong with him? Didn’t he have any self-control? A soft chuckle made him open one eye and peer suspiciously at Kai.
“You think this is funny?” He heard the hurt in his voice and couldn’t help it. Luca didn’t like Kai laughing at him.
He gasped at the endearment, there it was again. It really got to him. The endearment itself, and the way it sounded spilling from Kai’s mouth with that twang. It was like being touched.
Kai sat by his side leaning into Luca, one arm around his shoulders, and the other lifted his chin, to tip his face so they were looking at each other.
“I wasn’t laughing at you but if you could see yourself right now…” He didn’t say anything else. Instead, his eyes roamed over him, drinking him in and making Luca’s pulse beat heavily in his ears.
“How do I look?” Luca swallowed and whispered, unable to look away.
“Like pure sex,” Kai said instantly, smiling. “You make me hard.”
Luca watched as Kai’s fingers circled the wrist of his hand in his lap, bringing it over and discreetly cupping the hard bulge in his jeans.
Saving Sean, the second book of the Caddo Norse Novels is far from due but for those of you who are waiting here's a teaser:
“Son wait we don’t know anything we can’t go out there blind.”
“I don’t care dad. I need to find him. He’s out there alone, probably scared. He needs me!” Reid growled tearing his arm away from his father’s grip.
He was ready to walk back out there, to shift and find him when Coleman stepped in front of him grabbing him by the shoulders keeping him from going. “Son I understand this hard for you. Being away from your mate.” His head snapped up looking at his father.
“I’m old but not that old. My sense of smell and eyesight is pretty damn fantastic still if I may say so myself.” He smiled, Reid staring at him, worry taking over his mind and body. He whimpered.
“Pops I have to find him. I can’t just stand here I need to go search.” His body trembling from the urge to shift, his wolf pushing him to go find their mate. He wanted to growl when no one reacted. What the hell was wrong with them.
“We should let him go pops. I’ll go with him.” He looked at his brother gratefully. Ha someone was at least on his side.
“If you are going I am going.” Haven stood up with Maya still in his arms clinging to him. “You are going no where without me.” Alex didn’t argue instead he nodded. It was easy to see they were communicating through their link. OK so could the go already. Reid was getting impatient, his wolf was already tearing a hole inside of him for his lack of action.
“I don’t know about this…” Coleman said with a deep frown. Reid roared out loud so damn frustrated he was about to rip someone’s throat out, the younger children whimper and hid behind the adults, afraid of him. But he didn’t care at that point. Sean was out there alone and they were standing here talking. He was done!
“Calm and easy brother.” Alex’s voice was smooth but demandingly clear for him to back down and take it easy before he scare the little ones to death. He forced himself to lowered his eyes baring his neck immediately giving him a silent apology. He didn’t need to start a struggle or fight with anyone now he just wanted to go. Sean was out there alone in the claws of a beast didn’t they fucking get it! Alone! His mate. If it had been Haven Alex would have torn up heaven and hell to find him. Asshole! He bared his teeth growling low, looking at his brother underneath his lashes not standing down this time.
Dreamer, Writer, Reader and Metal Head.